Breaking Free

by Cory Allen

Genre: Nonfiction / Memoir / LGBTQ

ISBN: 9781953610621

Print Length: 226 pages

In this illuminating, powerfully personal story, everything and nothing is secret.

In his memoir, “Breaking Free: A Saga of Self-Discovery by a Gay Secret Service Agent,” Cory Allen offers readers a multi-faceted glimpse into his professional and private life. With honesty and introspection, Allen shares his experiences, providing a comprehensive and complex picture of his journey.

Allen opens up about his coming out process in his mid-20s during the mid-2000s. He delves into his perceptions of older male relatives who influenced his values and outlook on life, as well as his candid assessment of a failed gay marriage. Through his intimate account, Allen demonstrates a sincere commitment to discovering his authentic self and pursuing his true desires.

The memoir reveals Allen’s upbringing, marked by the absence of his father and his mother’s string of relationships. He reflects on the presence of a physically abusive and alcoholic man who lived with them during his teenage years, describing the explicit details of the abuse. Despite the challenges he faced, Allen maintains a positive outlook, attributing his decision to enter law enforcement to his experiences growing up.

Amid the difficulties, Allen also highlights the positive influences in his life, particularly his maternal grandfather, who he sees as a larger-than-life figure. Allen fondly recalls his grandfather’s stories of survival during World War II, portraying him as both a source of attention and treats and as his moral compass. The interplay between these nostalgic memories and the abuse he endured as a teenager adds depth and complexity to Allen’s narrative, which he delivers in an inviting and friendly conversational style.

In 2001, Allen joined the Virginia Air National Guard, but he was not deployed to the Middle East during the September 11 terrorist attacks due to his early stage of training. Despite feeling that he hadn’t sacrificed as much as others, he pursued a similar career path and became a police officer.

Allen’s journey also includes his decision to marry a neighbor and friend in 2009, traveling to Boston to legalize their union before same-sex marriage was widely recognized across the country. However, he candidly expresses his ambivalence about the marriage, highlighting the discrepancies in their enthusiasm during the ceremony. Through precise details, Allen conveys the complexity of his emotions.

In 2010, Allen joined the Secret Service, a prestigious and secretive organization dedicated to protecting the U.S. President and important figures in their orbit. While he is unable to disclose much about his Secret Service job, Allen acknowledges the challenges of keeping his sexuality hidden and maintaining a certain persona. He shares his frustration at the knowledge that his identity was an “open secret” within the organization before he was hired. Despite the risks, Allen finds solace in the fact that he is not alone as a gay agent.

While the memoir touches on Allen’s career, its primary focus lies on his marriage. He candidly discusses the differences between him and his husband, particularly regarding their vision of work and family life. Allen’s desire to become a father clashes with his husband’s reservations, leading them to explore a sexually open relationship where they meet other men during vacations. Allen narrates these experiences with explicit detail. Ultimately, a decade later, Allen realizes it is time to end his marriage when he develops strong feelings for another man.

“Breaking Free” challenges preconceived notions about gay relationships and sexuality, shedding light on the diversity within the LGBTQ+ community. Allen’s memoir provides valuable insight into the complexities and variations of gay men’s relationships, which are often discussed with limited detail. By sharing his personal experiences, Allen offers a perspective that can help dispel stereotypes and provide accurate information. The memoir prompts profound reflections on personal growth, the process of self-discovery, and the pursuit of individual needs within relationships.

Through Allen’s frank discussion of his sexually open marriage, readers gain insight into the long-term benefits and drawbacks of such arrangements. At this stage in his life, Allen believes he has a deeper understanding of his desires. Reading a life story like this, which delves into intimate sexual topics often kept secret in casual conversations, feels like wearing night-vision goggles: everything becomes both exposed and shrouded in secrecy.

In “Breaking Free,” Cory Allen’s memoir offers a courageous and unfiltered account of his journey towards self-discovery, challenging societal preconceptions along the way. Readers seeking a candid exploration of identity, relationships, and personal growth will find this memoir to be a thought-provokingexploration of one man’s path to liberation and authenticity.